Straight Boys, Gay Toys: This Parent May See Something You Don’t
I’m a straight mommy with question for the LGBTQ community and other female parents.
Long story short, I have a 4 year old son. I want him to be who he is, and I’m not worried about whether he becomes a part of the LGBTQ community one day or not.
But amongst some of the straight people in my life, and according to their comments, it comes up that they don’t want him to play with certain toys, or do certain things, or play certain activities, because I guess some straight people think….I don’t know…that these activities will MAKE a child LGBTQ.
As a mom, sometimes I say to my son “that’s for girls” or “that’s for boys” but not all the time do I believe it. Sometimes I say it because I don’t want him to be confused or made fun of.
Example: One time I went to Staples and my son wanted the Powerpuff Girl lunch bag over the Spiderman (or something like that) lunch bag. In this case, I also agreed that the better choice was the Powerpuff one because it was nicer and more “childish” than the Spiderman one. Then this man and his young boys came by and quckly said, “that’s for girls,” and had this shameful tone. I didn’t buy either bag, because that’s not what I was there for anyway. If I had to, we probably would have found different “boy” bag.
Example: Another time my son took my lipstick and put it on while I wasn’t paying attention. To me, he was just exploring something that his mom did. I had to scold him that he should “never” put on lipstick.
Example: We have a Miney Mouse toy that Ryan favors, it’s competely pink and made for a girl, (it was given to us with a bunch of toys by a friend several years ago) and Ryan favors it. It’s like a laptop, and he likes to bring it out when he sees me on my “laptop”.
Example: We have a baby doll who I stripped naked of her pink clothes and turned her into a “boy” once my son’s father noticed he was playing with it. I thought playing with a baby doll meant teaching my son caring, sensitivity, and love. I mean, I want him to be a father that will take care of his kids one day.
And to be honest, the girls aisle has some of the best toys, and the only thing standing in the way of us buying those toys, is the COLOR. And should I let the color PINK define my child.
Anyway, as this is my only child, I want to get things right. But I don’t want society pushing me around.
So basically, I guess the question I have is, am I influencing my child via nurture (think Pavlov’s nature vs. nurture).